Yes we are…Online!

After much procrastination, I have finally jumped and signed up to three (call me desperate?) online dating sites. I’m still kind of sceptical, as although I am a real devotee of social networking sites, dating sites seem a bit strange to me. Anyway, I’m not really looking for Mr Right at the moment, rather mates, maybe friendship, maybe just some fun. In any case, I think it is time to actually meet more guys and lets see what happens next.
So without much ado, here her the links to my profiles on Gaydar, Fitlads & Gayromeo

A little update: Since I have registered, somehow Gayromeo decided to have me on their frontpage. Which cause a total flurry of messages (hey,… thank you!). Some are from really amazing looking guys – so maybe my scepticism was unfounded? I shall keep you posted!

How to approach Mr or Ms Right?

One of the biggest problems when out and about for me is not the lack of potential Mr Rights. In a city like London I come across literally hundreds of pople who seem nice every day – and even if only a fraction of them would be gay and interested in me, I would probably have more dates than I could ever imagine. But, and I guess I am not alone in this, the crucial point is that it is the first step that seems the hardest for me. Just being confident enough and starting to speak to total strangers and making a first connection where there is obviously no need to speak to them feels more embarrassing than telling my mother I have an STI.

I really admire people who have mastered this art form. Of course, if I am honest, then I think I am quite good at it as well – as long as I am truly not attracted to the other person. For example, if I meet a woman somewhere I have little trouble in talking to her. OK, if it is the first encounter, and if there is obviously no need to talk, then yes I do still find it strange to make the first step – but it is not something really terrible. Maybe typical of many gay men, this has resulted in a wide circle of really nice female friends,… yet, given the chance of speaking to the nicest guy in the universe, I will try and get out of there as fast as I can (and I will run out of conversation topics in two milliseconds!).

Recently, I have started to read the adventures of a fellow Londoner single guy(though he is not playing for “my” team ). And it is quite amazing just how much I find myself in again in his stories. He has started to be quite professional in his approach (with a traget number of women to speak to), and an amazing stamina when it comes to speaking to them – yet it makes some interesting reading when thinking about just how much the first few seconds terrorise men, gay or straight – and judging by his comments – women alike.

Going out- with the ex…

Ex-boyfriends are a funny species. Especially when they are fairly newly ex. While I am comfortable to go out with exs from a long time ago, I really get, in a funny way quite uncomfortable about meeting my immediate ex. It might be because I still have some secret feelings for him, or because I’m just not comfortable to openly flirt with other people while he is around.
This weekend, I met my ex for some drinks, and exactly that happened. We went to a club, and I got talking to someone who was absolutely the most handsome guy around. It turned out, we also had a lot of common interests, which made it really enjoyable.
The problem: How to proceed with the ex standing next to you? I had the choice, obviously, to either ignore my ex and just carry on with the new guy – or not going full steam ahead with the new guy.
In the end I chose the latter – and decided to leave fairly early with my ex, and no one else. And although I think it could have been really nice to go further with the new guy, somehow I feel that I am just not ready to jump as yet, or maybe it just wasn’t the right day – but somehow it was strange to make that choice. Especially, as I know that if my ex would not have been there, I know I would have had a lot more fun that night.

Photo by globalNix.

The body, the body, the body…

During the last few days, I received three emails asking for body pics. Note, the emails were asking specifically for body shots – not face shots, nor did they relate to anything written in the blog. Are (gay) men really that body obsessed?

To be honest, it seems strange: On the one side many friends seem to love places that are explicitly not body obsessed. Take the example of the massively successful XXL club. The entire premise here is: If you spend more time worrying about how your body fat percentage is than having fun, you should not go. Of course, some people might say that that in turn is nothing but a type of body-obsession, just an inverted one to the one obsessed with young, slim, toned (and hairless) bodies.
Then we have the idea of the “musclemary” clubs – again usually coming from people who don’t fit the toned, slim and young stereotype. And who, of course would be very comfortable in XXL – though in reality seem to be hanging around the musclemarys all the time.
Maybe we should just face up to the fact, that for some things the body simply counts: It turns you on (or off), though of course (as with size), sometimes it is more important what you do with it.
For me, personally, I have a certain type I like, and yes, I am fairly happy with my body. Yes, sure, it could be better – but honestly, unless I really want to be guided by masterfully photoshopped pictures I guess I’m better of trying to like what I have. And concentrate on using it …

Being outside…

I know this blog is supposed to be about London – but then sometimes, being out of London can be part of being in London. In fact, I would say just by being outside at times and returning to the bustling streets of London can we really appreciate how great London is.

I spent last weekend with friends in Bournemouth, a charming city on the south coast of England. And while I totally enjoyed being away from London I couldn’t help but feel a great sense of relieve when I finally stepped back off the train in Waterloo.

While Bournemouth has all the charm of a small English town, a few gay bars (where everyone knows your name), and even, I have been told, a gay beach – it is still light years behind the freedom and choice we have as people (of any description) living in London. And while the tree lined streets, small high street and long beaches were lovely for a day, they simply can’t measure up with the freedom we have to do whatever we like here in the capital. Of course, I am not saying that I will never return, actually, I think it is lovely for a day – but I can say just how much I appreciate being back. And knowing that no matter what I think, I can now leave my computer and go to dozens of different bars, party the night away and make the choices I really want to make. And that is worth a lot more to me than the trees – and even than the lovely sandy beach.

Photoby Paula Bird Parent.

The love line…

This article caught my eye yesterday on my way home: Every day I use the most romantic line on the underground (though not the best station for singles), yet the idea of finding love on the tube seems – rather remote.
I mean lets face it: If you are a handsome guy (or gal for that matter), would you really go and check out a website to see if someone spotted you on your way to work? And lets not even go anywhere near the problem of spotting someone gay short of the person wearing a rainbow bracelet (well, at least for people with my gaydar, that is what I would need…).
So seriously: Short of Melanie Speth, who enlisted the help of Metro to find her handsome bloke,… is dating on the tube really a good proposition? I’m just seriously wondering how I would react if someone (other than Ben Moon, of course) would speak to me on the tube after a day at work? Maybe I should rethink my idea and watch out for handsome guys on public transport…

Photo: The love line by gatc.

Hello out there!

Welcome to yet another blog,…!
This blog is all about discovering and living in Europe’s coolest city as a gay man at the beginning of the 21st century – well, in 2007 anyway.
Why discovering? Well, after 7 years I have split from my (ex-)boyfriend. Not in a nasty or really dramatic way. We just decided that after those years we had enough of each other and that it was time to move on. This, of course, means that I am now single again – and started to hit the streets (bars, clubs…) of London. … not really as I soon discovered, as over the last couple of years things have changed so much, that it is almost like rediscovering the city.