Lingering Ex

There is something strange about my ex. While three weeks ago I was still very much at a point where I would have returned given a hint, I thoroughly feel now that I have moved on. However, in a strange way, my ex seems to linger – and even look for situations which must be strangely unpleasant for him.
I have seen him a lot recently. But not, as you might expect in a situation which is private (like going to a bar and having a drink together), but rather he tends to phone up and ask if he can join me going out or being with friends. This might, of course, include me talking, flirting or in at least one instance kissing another guy right infront of him. Yet, somehow he seems not to mind – or at least will call back soon after and ask if he can come along again.
While very much in the beginning I was really hoping for a sign from him that maybe he would be jealous, I am now over that point and take him very much as just another person being in the same place with me.
Of course, I wonder: it make me a “bad” person flirting right in front of him? Am I playing with his feelings? Or is he so cool and has equally moved on.
Really – what is going on in his head?!

An amazing weekend…

In a lot of ways, sometimes I think things tend to happen exactly when you least expect them. Last weekend was a perfect example: I expected a fairly boring weekend with some friends coming from out-of-town. But it turned into a rather amazing weekend – and a long one!
It all started Thursday when I met with a business partner on Thursday, wo happened to be in London and asked me if I could go for a drink with him. While we work together, we had never physically met, and so this seemed a nice opportunity to put a face to the emails. I thought it was going to be a fairly straight forward business type meeting – but it turned out not only that he was gay (I did mention before that my gaydar is rather crap, didn’t I?), single – but also extremely good-looking. We got on like a house on fire really, and ever since then the emails between us have been pretty flirty. In fact, he invited me to come and visit him next weekend… so stay tuned for that one!

On Friday I went with a friend to a bar in Soho, where he met up with some other friends. One of the friends in the other groups was an amazing looking guy, very sporty and with dark hair and blue eyes (which I have to admit is something that makes me weak all the time!). Even more amazingly the guy started to speak to me almost as soon as we arrived, and didn’t move from my side for the entire evening. While I’m not usually the guy who goes home with a date the first night, this night I did, and I really did not regret it.
Although the guy is certainly not relationship material, just the fact that he hit on me made me fairly self-confident and really quite happy. Especially, as this was the second day in a row that somehow I got a little more attention than I thought I merited.

Actually, thinking of this, it is quite amazing how I’m on the one side scared of being rejected, but flattered by getting attention (even if I don’t want to take it any further). Quite a paradox.

The next evening I went with my out-of-town friends to Heaven (yeah, I know!). Again, I didn’t expect it to be any good – but I was very wrong: The music was really amazing and – yet again – a nice guy started to chat with me. We ended up dancing and chatting together until 5, and will probably see each other again this weekend.

Finally, on Monday I met with a really nice guy from a charity I work for. Again it seemed that sparks were flying – and we have been texting a lot over the last few days.
Of course, the funny thing is that at the start of the weekend, I expected it to be rather dull… but somehow I have been smiling ever since .

Photo by Mark A Jones.

Date. Yes, I mean… a date!

After spending the last few weeks pretty much giving up the hope for anyone nice ever crossing my path,… I have to report: a date. Not exactly a perfect date – but a good start in my books (at least I don’t seem to miraculously scare people off!).

It came in the form of drinks with a French guy, who happens to live around the corner from me, and who asked me to have a drink with him in the local (straight) pub. It was rather nice, very civilised and really a lot like making a new friend. Which, of course is kind of where the problem lies for me: The evening went very much like a meeting with a friend, and then we said good bye and parted. While he is really nice, and we got on extremely well together, I am not sure how we would get on sexually. and I don’t mean that he is in any way unattractive, rather that I seem to have a mental devision between people who are either sexy (and therefore not really friend material), or friends (and whose pants are definitely off limits).

Of course, the jury is still out on this one, but even if never anything else happens, than it was a really nice and enjoyable evening – though I am really almost sure that at least (or should I say most importantly?) I have found a new local friend. And someone to have a drink with. Let’s see what happens…
After an evening like this, I do think, maybe I should just make the plunge more often, go on as many dates as possible – and who knows? – maybe the guy who is both sexy body and mind wise will be out there somewhere.

Photo by William van Dieten.